


When Hell Freezes Over

by kelex



Series: Ineffable Husbands Porn Star AU [1]
Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: M/M, Porn Star AU, Porn Star Aziraphale, Porn Star Crowley
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-08
Updated: 2019-08-08
Packaged: 2020-08-13 05:07:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20168641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kelex/pseuds/kelex
Summary: Fellie is a well-known dom who does cam sessions for loads of cash.  Enter AJ Teninch, the porn world’s most notoriously natural bottom.  Somebody at H&H Productions has the bright idea to put them together, without knowing that Fellie and Teninch are, um, rather well-acquainted.





	When Hell Freezes Over

**Author's Note:**

> Fellie = Ezra Fell. AJ Teninch = Anthony J. Crowley. And no, he’s glad to tell you that’s not an exaggeration. He even carries a tape measure to prove it. Porn Star AU for IneffableHusbandsBingo. Any resemblance to other characters is purely intentional. This AU might be revisited in other works, because I'm a little bit in love with it.

“It’s like a bloody war zone in here,” AJ complained as he sat down with his lunch tray. The only other person at the table was Carmine Red, and she didn’t appear to be listening to him at all. “Internet people over there, movie people over here, those cam people over by the door. Like ducks or something, you’re not supposed to mate outside your own group.”

At that, Red rolled her eyes. “You’ve been doing enough mating for all of us, sunshine.”

AJ scoffed. “Not like it’s my fault the guys downstairs love me,” he pointed out. “When you’ve got the biggest gun in the business, well, they’re going to want to see it fired off.”

Red just shrugged that off. “I’ve seen bigger on my harness, Tony. Don’t get cocky.” She slid her dessert down the table to him as she stood up. “Enjoy the cream pie.”

AJ stuck his tongue out at Carmine as she left the table, but he did dig into the slice of lemon cream pie with gusto. 

“I’m sorry, but is this seat taken?”

AJ nearly knocked the table over as he got to his feet. “Fell! no, no, course not, have a seat, please! I was just telling Red, well, before she left anyway, how we all need to break out of our groupings.”

Ezra Fell, or Fellie as he was known, sat across from AJ. Technically, he was right; there was no hard-and-fast rule that said you had to sit with your division, but most performers were more comfortable with their peers. “I completely agree with you,” was all he answered. 

Underneath the table, Ezra’s foot slipped out of its comfortable loafer and his toes moved to stroke AJ’s bare ankle. 

AJ coughed at the teasing touch, and slouched a little more in his chair. He was wearing a robe and silk pajama pants and nothing else. “I mean, it’s important to create camaraderie between the working classes,” he pointed out, abandoning his tray and scooting closer to the table. 

AJ’s scootch meant Ezra’s foot climbed a little higher, coming to rest on the other man’s knee. “Just think of the friendships that could be forged.” 

“I’m already thinking about it.” AJ’s hand slipped under the table, and his thumb dug gently into Ezra’s ankle joint, popping it quietly as he massaged it. “I think it’s a fine thing, us setting an example like this.” 

“Yes, quite. Two co-workers sharing a convivial meal.” He glared at AJ across the table. 

The answering smirk spread quickly across the man’s face. “Convivial? I would have thought friendly.” His fingers were kneading Ezra’s instep, and he licked his lips teasingly. 

in retaliation, Ezra’s other foot rose up AJ’s leg, toes working past the robe to rub gently against the hard outline of silk-covered cock. “Perhaps a bit more than friendly,” Ezra allowed. 

“Your point is quite well taken.” AJ had his legs open as wide as they would stretch, allowing Ezra’s foot free access to wherever it wanted to go. He bit his lip as he felt a gentle nudge against his testicles, and he stopped massaging long enough to open the fly of the silk trousers. 

“Very good,” Ezra whispered softly. “Such a good boy I’ve trained you to be.” He stole a quick look around the lunch room, but only one other table was occupied, and both Sable and Chalky--they were trademarked as Black Gold and White Sugar--were paying more attention to each other’s call sheets and none whatever to the rest of the room. “Take your hands and put them flat on the table.”

AJ did as he was told, his palms laying against the cheap, sticky tabletop. He licked his lips again, parting them for a very soft pant when Ezra’s toes curled and cupped the head of his cock. “If we’re caught--”

“We won’t be, if you do as you’re told.” Ezra was keeping his torso as still as he could manage, while AJ was sprawled out decadently in the chair across from him. “Or would you rather I stop and put you on your knees under this table?”

A hot shiver skipped down AJ’s spine. He knew better than to answer, because it was really up to Ezra. And he also knew that if he behaved himself now, he’d definitely get rewarded later on at home. “I’ll do as I’m told,” was the answer he gave when Ezra indicated he was actually expected to speak. 

“That’s my boy.” Ezra dropped his feet entirely, slipping back into his shoes, and moving to sit at the same side of the table as AJ. He barely needed to pull the robe aside because it was belted so loosely, and he wrapped his hand around the shaft of AJ’s exposed cock. “You are very happy to see me, aren’t you?” He gave another look around the room, and bit down hard on his shoulder through the robe. Couldn’t go about leaving marks, not when there was a full night’s work ahead. 

AJ almost whined deep in his throat when Ezra moved his feet, but he was rewarded instead with a hot hand wrapping around him. He brought his hand up, linking his fingers with Ezra’s so they were stroking together. “Course I’m always happy to see you.” He nuzzled into Ezra’s neck, breathing in his cologne and muffling his needy whimpers. 

“My dear boy.” Ezra kept stroking, from head to balls and back again. There were certain words they kept at home, words that would be out of place in their business. But they were present anyway, in knowing touches, soft nuzzles, careful smiles. “Are you going to come for me? Or shall I leave you like this for your next lucky partner?”

“No, I want to come for you,” AJ protested, fisting his hand in Ezra’s shirt. His other hand clung to his lover’s shoulder, straining to keep his hips still even as Ezra moved faster. “Please?”

“Sssh.” Ezra pressed a hot kiss to AJ’s neck, licking up a trail of sweat that had started to fall. “Do it for me, then. Show me.” 

The smell of Ezra’s cologne, the liquid honey voice whispering in his ear, the experienced hands touching roughly in all the right places made AJ shudder hard. His cock jerked in Ezra’s hand, spraying all over the edge of his robe and his pajama pants. No matter; they weren’t wardrobe and everyone had a wank at break time.

Ezra brought AJ’s hand down to feel the hardness of Ezra’s cock. “When you get home tonight, this is going to be your reward.” 

Pressing his face into Ezra’s neck, AJ muffled his words into welcoming skin.  _ I love you _ , he said so softly it couldn’t be heard.

But Ezra had felt them spoken into his skin so often that he knew the feel of them. Under the table, he squeezed AJs hand tightly in an unspoken response of  _ I know, my dear. _

\-----

Bee was looking for AJ. “AJ! Tony, dammit, where are you?” She stormed into the commissary, and glared. There he was, sprawled out on a chair with a half-eaten dessert in front of him. “Where the hell have you been?”

AJ’s post-coital brain was barely working, but he held up the dessert tray. “Lunch break, Beezy. You know, that thing where you stop fucking long enough to eat?” Which he had in no way done, but. 

“Yeah, and yours was over ten minutes ago. Gabe’s waiting upstairs.” She growled at him as she waved her clipboard at him. “Let’s  _ go! _ ”

“All right, don’t get your knickers in a twist.” AJ got up, and belted his robe. It hid most of the stains.

Most, but not all. “For fuck’s sake, Tony!”

\-----

A polite knock sounded on Gabe’s door. Beezy was, thank Heaven, tracking down their biggest video star, which left Gabe to deal with the online guru. “That you, Fellie?”

He barely hid the grimace. “Yes, sir. You called for me?”

“Well, yes, I did. Come in, there’s something I’d like to discuss with you.” He waited for Ezra to be seated. “H&H is very pleased with your work, Fellie, which is why we’d like to offer you a wider contract.”

“A wider contract?” he repeated. “I’m sorry, but I’m not certain I know what you mean.”

“That’s what we wanted to talk to you about. You see, we don’t often cross the streams. Once H&H hires you, that’s where you stay. But there’s been some talk. Some internal memos from on high about restructuring. It’s been suggested that H&H needs to shake up our productions. Stop offering the same old, same old, and try something new. I know you’re most comfortable working solo, but.” Gabe leaned forward, faux-purple contacts glittering in the fluorescents. “What would you say about moving your act to live action? We’ve got the perfect foil for your performance art, and if you don’t want to do the actual fucking, we’ve got plenty we can bring in to do it for you while you direct it.”

Ezra raised both eyebrows in surprise, and it took him a moment to work up any sort of comment beyond  _ excuse me, but what the fuck. _ However, that extra time lost him his chance to speak, because the door to the office slammed open. 

“Found him, G. Lounging about downstairs, as usual.”

“Anthony, great! Come on in; I’d like you to meet someone. Fellie, this is AJ Teninch. Tony, this is Fellie.”

Ezra hoped the shock on Anthony’s face wasn’t mirrored on his own. “Hello, Mr. Ten-- I’m sorry, that’s ridiculous, may I please call you Anthony?”

“Er, sure. Tony’s fine too, or AJ.” He held out his hand. “How do you do… Fellie, was it?” He gulped hard, but shook Ezra’s hand firmly before letting it drop. 

“Thank you, Anthony.” Ezra sat back down in his chair, and noticed that AJ sprawled on the couch. “I’m sorry, you were saying that you wanted Anthony and I to perform together?”

“Yeah, Beezy was explaining that on the way up,” AJ butted in. “Although she didn’t mention you by name. Seems you’re the big ticket on the internet, and I’m the big gun in video.”

“Yes, that’s exactly true,” Gabriel agreed. “And Tony, we feel like with your talents, you’d be an absolute natural with Fellie’s talents. Heavens, the two of you even look good together. Stand back up, Tony, let’s take a look at you.”

AJ got up from the couch and sauntered over to Ezra’s chair. And before they could direct him to do it, he crouched beside Ezra’s chair, hands clasped in front of him. His crouch brought his head level with Ezra’s arm rest, and with a little nod of his head, AJ nudged Ezras hand into his hair. 

Automatically Ezra stroked through the flaming red strands, thumb idly caressing the tattoo at AJ’s temple. 

Beezy and Gabe were staring at each other with dollar signs floating in the air between them. “This is perfect, you see? Tony, you’ve got great instincts with him, and Fellie, wow. Just wow.”

“I would have one or two conditions,” Ezra said after a moment. “First, to address what we were discussing earlier, I would have no problem having sex with Anthony on camera. Second, Anthony and I will be allowed to discuss between ourselves scripting, limits, safe words, and things of that nature.”

Gabriel nodded. “Yes, that’s all very standard, I don’t see any problems with that.”

“I’m afraid you might with my third condition. I won’t perform with anyone but Anthony. Anthony, you’re free to do whatever you like, of course, because I understand the contract that you have. However, my contract will state that I will have one partner, and one partner only, and that is Anthony.”

Gabe and Beezy exchanged looks; Beezy shrugged, and then nodded. Gabe nodded too, and then steepled his fingers together. “A little strange, but okay. We’ll accommodate that, at least during the trial period. If it doesn’t work out well, then no harm done and you can go back to your solo work. If it does work out well, we’ll discuss it further then.”

“No.” Anthony got up from his crouch by Ezra’s chair, and he could see by the startlement in Gabe’s expression that they’d almost forgotten he was there. “If Fellie’s not going to work with anyone else, then I won’t either. S’not fair to him, making him schedule around me and my other work. So, long as we’re to be a team, we’re going to be a bloody team.”

“Tony, let’s be reasonable,” Beezy interjected, trying to calm him. “You’ve already got two more projects on the docket--”

“So I’ll finish them and then we’ll start this new deal with Fellie,” AJ broke in. “And he can keep working his solo projects until then.”

Gabe looked from Beezy to AJ to Ezra, and then back to AJ. “I’m kinda sensing that this isn’t negotiable here.”

“It’s not,” AJ confirmed. “I’m monogamous now, or else the whole thing is off.”

Another long look between Gabe and Beezy. “Monogamy is overrated, but if that’s what you want, you got it. I’ll have Mike and Hasty down in Legal draw up a couple of new short-term contracts for the pair of you, and you can pick them up first of next week. Read ‘em over, talk to us about any changes, and when Tony’s last scheduled picture is done, we’ll sign the new papers and get rolling on the new project, sound fair?” Both actors nodded, and Gabe rapped on the desk. “All right then! Beezy, why don’t you show Fellie and Tony out while I make those calls to Legal?”

\-----

Tony’s Bentley was already in the driveway when Ezra got home. He laid a hand on the hood; it was still warm and ticking as it cooled, so he hadn’t been there too terribly long. Silly looking car, but Tony loved it. It’d been the first thing he’d bought with his first check. His own car was far more reserved, just a normal MG F convertible. 

“Anthony?” he called.

“Kitchen,” came the surprising answer. Not knowing what to expect, he came in and found AJ fully dressed, boots still on, and two glasses of wine already poured. Closing the refrigerator door, a block of cheese and a plastic-lidded fruit tray appeared on the counter beside the glasses. “Honey, how was your day?”

Ezra laughed softly, and took Anthony’s hands in his own. He pulled the other man’s arms around his waist, and laid his head on Tony’s shoulder. “Oh, the usual. Dommed a few men online, negotiated a way to fuck my husand and get paid for it.” 

“Lucky husband.” AJ kept his arms tightly around Ezra and kissed the top of his head. “If you don’t want--”

“Hush. If I didn’t want to, I’d have said no.” He looked up then. “If you don’t want to--”

“Stop right there.” AJ kissed Ezra gently. “Do you really think I’m going to say no to the chance of getting to have you all to myself, every day, at work and at home? We’ve kept it all separate up to now, and we’ll keep it separate from here on out, too. All right?”

Ezra nodded, and let go of AJ. “You bring the food.” He picked up the bottle in one hand, and the two glasses in the other, careful not to slosh the wine over the sides. “When do you think we ought to tell them we got married?”

AJ scooped the tray up in both hands. “When hell freezes over.”

the end


End file.
